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Turning back to face the mirror, a small giggle escaped mylips once I spied the camel toe made by my tiny panties. It had been alittle over a year since I had my final surgery (it was an early"birthday present" from the year prior), and although I thoroughlyenjoyed the final results of my journey into womanhood, the only thing Ihave lamented was that I still have not been able to properly "testdrive" my new equipment outside of self maintenance.Although, I opined, I never really used the "old equipment" either.Damn, I'm going to be a 28 year old virgin.Ugh, I was still very skittish about dating. My job offered me littlerespite, though that was about as much about me being a workaholic asmuch as anything else. I know what I liked and what I want in arelationship, but I was deathly afraid of divulging my past to potentialsuitors. I did however, hear the same thing from my girlfriends that Idid from guys in my old life; that my problem is that my standards aretoo high. Or. Exactly one week since I learnt how it really feels to lose someone precious. Nothing changes and everything goes on. You have to, too. Somehow.I'm vaguely conscious of your presence. It does not fill my head like it's supposed to. The fire's been reduced to a spark that needs to be fanned. Even when I look up into your dark eyes, it's a struggle to recognise the passion, compassion and primal lust in them. I miss your eyes. I miss your gaze. It gives me my worth, and I need to feel worthy today more than ever.Shutting my eyes, I shift slightly in my bonds. The cloth that binds my wrists to the old metal bed-frame does not hurt. It does not even restrict my movements or hold me firmly in place. Yet, there is no desire to escape or fight. Perhaps it is the dense humidity. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside that numbs the senses you're trying to awaken. Perhaps I just never want to run from you. I belong with you, to you.You sit on the bed, beside me, drinking in my spread form. For a.
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